The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
