I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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