Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just had sex on a roof
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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