dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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