dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
