Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
