Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
