We're like a lot better than the average bears
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
