My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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