I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
