i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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