thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
