So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
