Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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