I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
