Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
