And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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