I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
