At least make sure they are 18
Why
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize