get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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