It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
nutella sex= disaster
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
