My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
