So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
