Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
