Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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