I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
