super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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