I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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