I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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