You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
