We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
