Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
