what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
