The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
