omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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