we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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