my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i dont even know how to be here
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
