worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
