I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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