I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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