i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
