I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Drunk is not a location!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
