Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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