White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i love accidental penises.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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