hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
