take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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