turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
