Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
