I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
