Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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