Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
