Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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