i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
