hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
