PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
