I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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